Three Simple Ways to Recharge

My client, who is also a therapist, said this to me the other day: “I know my values. I follow my values all day long. Then why do I still feel so blah, uninspired, and exhausted?”

My simple answer to that question is that too much of anything can become a bad thing. 

Wise effort isn’t just pointing your arrow toward your values and going at a level 10 on repeat. It’s about using your effort wisely. Sometimes that means dialing it up and other times that means dialing it back, and almost always it means changing things up.  If you’re the kind of person who values engaging in life with real meaning and purpose, but you’re feeling drained by the constant effort, you’re not alone. There’s a way to live intentionally without inviting burnout. Try these three simple shifts to turn your energy around and upgrade your day from blah to hurrah!.

1. Notice What’s Worth It

There’s a point when doing more doesn’t get you more. And some things just aren’t worth putting extra effort into. The question to start asking yourself is, What is worth my precious energy today? 

One way to do this is by paying close attention to when you’re reaching a point of diminishing returns. 

It’s not always black and white, and priorities will sometimes shift from day to day. Some days waking up at five to get to the gym is worth it, and on other days, you could use some extra sleep.  Listen inside, ask yourself whether something is worth it to you, in this moment, in this context, and then decide. 

If you were to make a worth it/not worth it list of your effort, what would it look like? Here’s one of mine:

Make a list and pay attention to points of diminishing returns. By noticing what is worth it, you will start to make wiser choices as to what you take on, and what you pass up.

2. Try Productive Procrastination

When you have lost joy in what you are doing, even though it’s guided by your values, it’s also time to look at what  you are doing, not just how much. Too much of one thing, even kale, running, or taking care of your aging parents, can become a bad thing if you don’t add variety.

One principle that can help with diversifying your energy diet is something called “productive procrastination.” Productive procrastination is when you swap one values-aligned activity with another adaptive, albeit less important, one. Erin Westgate, a researcher at University of Florida shared with me in a podcast interview that she came up with the concept when she noticed that in graduate school she would write papers to procrastinate studying for an exam. In her research Dr. Westgate found that not all forms of procrastination are equal. In fact, students who engaged in productive procrastination (e.g. cleaning your room to procrastinate doing paperwork) had the same benefits in terms of lower alcohol use and higher GPA as non-procrastinators. 

Take a look at how you are using your energy and notice where you can diversify your energy diet with productive tasks. See where you can  try something new, or mix it up, or productively procrastinate so that you have a more nutritious effort diet. 

Included in this, , of course, is an openness to just having more fun. Let’s look at that next.

3. Have More Fun

One of the things that surprised me most when we took our kids to a summer retreat at Plum Village Monastery, was that the nuns wore tennis shoes under their robes. They’d spend the morning in sitting meditation, leading dharma talks, cleaning dishes and chopping vegetables. But by afternoon, they’d be out playing ping pong, basketball, and volleyball with the kids. It’s quite a sight to see bald nuns in brown robes spiking a volleyball or a nun stealing a soccer ball from your kid. This type of  fun, is done on purpose. 

Fun isn’t just good for you, it can be a form of activism. In the book Pleasure Activism: The Politics of Feeling Good, adrienne maree brown writes that engaging in pleasurable activities challenges the norms and structures that perpetuate suffering and oppression. By prioritizing happiness, fulfillment, and satisfaction in our own lives and communities, we can enhance our resilience and effectiveness in political and social movement. Living out your values does not need to be joyless and full of sacrifice. 

When I interviewed Dr. Michael Rucker, author of The Fun Habit, he recommended we generate a “fun file.” 

The purpose of the fun file is to serve as a tangible reminder of what activities make you happy and to encourage you to incorporate more of these elements into your daily life. What would be in your fun file? Keep a fun file and from it, make a list of 8-15 enjoyable activities. Make sure to include things that require no preparation or little time, things that are moderate in planning and time, and things that take a little more effort to make happen. For example, here’s mine:

Low Effort/Prep/Time Commitment

Medium Effort/Prep/Time Commitment

High Effort/Prep/Time Commitment

What would you add to your fun file?

Letting Go of “Burnout As A Badge Of Honor”

There’s a big misconception we have about living from a place that’s rooted in meaning and core values: that unless we’re exhausted and miserable, we aren’t “doing enough.” The assumption is that burnout is the indicator that we’re moving the needle on important things. 

I’d invite us to question and challenge that assumption. 

What if being selective about how we expend our energy actually makes us more effective in the long run? What if more joy, more fun, and more pleasure actually fuel our capacity to make a difference? 

If you are feeling burned out on all the meaningful activities you do, consider that it’s time to add in more play, spontaneity, and fun to your life. Make your list and make a commitment to do something fun every day. Even if it’s really small. And when you do it… savor it!