The more you say “no” to things that don’t matter, the easier it is to say “yes” to things that do.
Imagine for a moment your life as a garden. Every plant represents something in your life: a commitment, a possession, a relationship, an obligation, a hobby, or an activity.
Over time, the garden adds more and more plants as we add more and more things. Many of these obligations and activities get bigger and bigger over time, taking up more and more space. Without careful pruning, the garden becomes fuller and fuller.
Of course, as with any garden over time, it will consist of more than just plants and flowers. Weeds will inevitably begin to grow.
Sometimes these weeds are blown into our life, sometimes they are of our own making, and other times they are simply distractions that steal more and more of our garden’s real estate. Either way, they don’t usually align with our values and deepest heart desires.
Although I don’t keep a garden here in Phoenix (other than a rosemary plant in my front yard), gardening is an activity I’ve always loved. My grandfather’s garden was famous in his small town. I loved helping my dad (who grew up on a farm) tend to our backyard garden when I was growing up. And I maintained a small garden at each of my homes before moving here to the desert.
And one thing I’ve learned: to grow the best vegetables (or to admire the most beautiful flowers) you must be diligent in removing the weeds and providing space for the plants and flowers to flourish.
The same is true of our lives, by learning to say “no” and by pruning our lives intentionally, we make room for the things in life that bring both beauty and fruit.
There are lots of reasons why people have a hard time saying no.
If that is you, it might be helpful to remember that saying ‘no’ might be the most productive thing you do. Weeding a garden and pruning plants is not wrong or selfish, it is required for fruitfulness.
Likewise, considered correctly, saying ‘no’ isn’t about attracting confrontation, letting people down, or limiting your potential at work or in life. Saying ‘no’ is about living your most intentional life focused on what matters.
Saying ‘no’ allows us to protect our time, energy, and resources. And it frees us to function at our best in the world. When we stop filling our days with unnecessary commitments and distractions, we begin to see clearly the things that bring us joy and fulfillment and have the space to let them flourish.
Consider the act of minimizing your possessions. Every item you choose to remove from your home and life creates space and peace. Each ‘no’ to an unnecessary possession is a ‘yes’ to simplicity and focus. And every purchase we reject is more money that can be spent elsewhere.
Reflect on your daily routine. How many activities do you engage in out of habit or obligation rather than genuine desire or thoughtfulness? How many hours are wasted each day on devices or purposeless entertainment? Every weed we pull and every hour we take back, opens up the possibility of saying ‘yes’ to something more meaningful and life-giving.
Think about your work and career. Are there things we must do at work that are not entirely enjoyable? Certainly. But is saying ‘yes’ to everything for the purpose of getting ahead or making more money working for you in the short-term and the long-term? Or do the words of Warren Buffett cause you to stop and reevaluate, “The difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say ‘no’ to almost everything.”
Minimalism is essentially about intention. It’s about removing distractions that keep us from our values. It’s the deliberate choice to focus on our values, our limitations, and those pursuits worth the one life we have to live. This philosophy can transform not only our physical spaces but also our schedules, habits, and well-being.
With fewer distractions, we gain clarity and focus. We become more present in our daily lives and more engaged in our relationships. We find time for personal growth, creativity, and rest. Our stress levels decrease and our sense of fulfillment increases.
When the weeds are removed, space for beauty and fruit is found.
If you’ve spent any time gardening, you know that removing weeds can be hard work. But it’s always worth it in the end.