We’ve all heard of “Type A” and “Type B” personalities, with both often falling into a number of common stereotypes. But can a person with a Type A personality be in a successful relationship with someone who’s Type B?
Read on to learn more about these two personality types and how they interact in a relationship, the advantages and disadvantages of this kind of relationship, and how best to support your opposite-type partner, whether you are the Type A or the Type B.
Personality Types
Personality types, like Type A and Type B, exist on a spectrum. Very few people are 100% one type—but most people do lean one way or another. In addition, personality types are not necessarily inherent or inherited traits. Types can be learned and developed based on circumstances and experiences, such as having a fast-paced work environment.
So, what are Type A and Type B personalities, anyway?
What Is Type A?
When you hear “Type A,” most people think of perfectionism and obsessiveness, or maybe someone who is “high-maintenance.” But Type A personalities are actually much more than that.
There are certain characteristics of a true Type A personality, including:
- Achievement orientation: Type As are extremely dedicated to their goals and may feel the need to even take extreme measures to achieve them.
- Competitiveness: Type As can be incredibly competitive, with both others and themselves.
- Impatience: Time urgency is a common Type A trait, with a general unwillingness to wait for things longer than the Type A person thinks they should. Everyone should be on their schedule!
- Dominance: A Type A person is more comfortable when they are in charge, and might seek to exert control over any situation.
- Free-floating hostility or aggression: A Type A personality might be quick to react to something in anger, and to a degree that is unwarranted.
What Is Type B?
A “Type B” personality is often considered to be the opposite of a Type A—someone who is generally relaxed and easy-going.
The characteristics of a Type B personality include:
- Flexibility: A Type B is able to easily compromise, and has a “go-with-the-flow” attitude.
- Low stress levels: Type Bs tend to experience less stress overall than their Type A counterparts.
- Adaptability to change: People with Type B personalities have an easier time dealing with changes, either expected or unexpected, than those with Type A personalities.
- Even-temperedness: Type Bs usually experience fewer emotional high highs and low lows than Type A’s.
- Creativity: People with Type B personalities can be especially creative and less married to rigid rules or structures—they can see solutions and ways forward that might function outside of the guidelines within which Type A’s like to operate.
- Tendency towards procrastination: While you’d be hard-pressed to find a Type A who procrastinates, Type B’s tend to worry less about things like deadlines, and don’t feel rushed to complete projects.
- Patience: The flip side of the procrastination coin is that Type B personalities can be very patient (as opposed to the famous impatience of Type A personalities).
Advantages of a Type A/Type B Relationship
While it might seem as though Type A personalities and Type B personalities have some irreconcilable differences, a relationship between a Type A and Type B can actually be very successful.
One of the advantages of being in a Type A/Type B relationship is that you can balance each other out. The B can teach the A how to relax more and let themselves off the hook, which can lead to less stress in A’s life and therefore less stress in the relationship.
On the other hand, the A can teach the B the benefits of hard work and goal orientation, and support them with concepts (and actions) like motivation and achievement. This can also both enrich the B’s professional and personal life and support more positivity in the relationship. (This is not to say that Type As can never relax and Type Bs never work hard. Far from it! Remember, these traits exist on a spectrum.)
There are many benefits to maintaining this balance. “Type A tends to go, go, go, which can lead to burnout, and two Type As can feed off of each other in unhealthy ways,” explains Amy Marschall, PsyD. “On the other hand, the Type A can perhaps encourage and motivate the Type B individual towards their goals if they have a less intense drive. You can bring out the best in each other.”
Additionally, the B is unlikely to step on the A’s toes when it comes to planning or taking charge of situations. This can make it easier to delegate responsibilities within the relationship because each person leans a different way—the A gets to do what they like and are best at (like planning), leaving the B to take care of other things (like creative problem-solving).
It is also likely that arguments between a Type A personality and a Type B personality will have less intensity and be resolved more quickly because the A doesn’t have another stubborn A to contend with.
Because Type Bs are generally more able to compromise and find middle ground than their Type A counterparts, fights between a Type A person and a Type B person can have less “bite.”
Similarly, the B in the relationship can more readily adapt to the A’s needs, such as giving them alone time when they need it, because B’s are usually less rigid and need less structure than their A partners.
An openness to change can facilitate better communication within the relationship because the Type A doesn’t have to fear pushback from their Type B partner and can allow the A to openly express their feelings (and vice versa, if the A takes a page out of B’s book!).
Disadvantages of a Type A/Type B Relationship
Just like in any relationship, there can be challenges in a Type A/Type B partnership.
The Type A might steamroll the Type B, or B might feel like they’re being steamrolled. The assertiveness, competitiveness, and need for dominance that a Type A exhibits can make the B feel as though they can’t express themselves. B might not be sure how to advocate for themselves in the relationship, especially if they feel as though they can’t talk with their Type A partner about what they need. This can lead to built-up resentment and conflict down the road.
In addition, if the B partner constantly takes a backseat when it comes to planning and consistently expects their A partner to make all the plans and take care of everything themselves, the A might get frustrated and wish the B would take some initiative.
This might be difficult for the B, especially if it does not naturally occur to them that they should adopt this work ethic; and their inability to “step up to the plate” in the eyes of the A can leave the A feeling unsupported and unappreciated.
On a related note, in a Type A/Type B relationship, there might be a fundamental misunderstanding of how the other person operates. If each partner expects certain things from the other but assumes that because they themselves function one way, their partner will function in the same way, this can lead to conflict and resentment—especially if each person does not clearly communicate what they need.
There are also certain personality traits inherent to each type that can easily irritate the other.
A Type B’s laidback nature and lack of focus can get on a Type A’s nerves, whereas an A’s insistence that things should be exactly the way they want them to be can bother a B. While these kinds of discrepancies can afflict any relationship, the marked differences between Type As and Type Bs can be especially disruptive.
The differences in interests and priorities can also cause difficulties in a Type A/Type B relationship, explains Yolanda Renteria, LMFT. Specifically, look out for “the conflict that arises when partners try to force the other to be more like them, or the distance that can be created between them if their life goals and interests are completely different.”
Strategies for Navigating a Type A/Type B Relationship
Navigating a Type A/Type B relationship comes down to communication and understanding.
“Just like any relationship, communicate what you need to your partner,” says Marschall. “Get on the same page, and be clear. Also remember that it’s ok that you have different needs, and both sides can compromise to find a middle ground.”
If You’re Type A
If you’re the Type A, it’s important to accept that your partner might not be as motivated or assertive as you are—and that’s ok! People are different, and those differences can complement each other when you learn to stop expecting your partner to do things and feel things exactly the same way you do.
“Try to see your partner’s differences as strengths instead of as personality flaws,” says Renteria. “For example, type A partners can see their partner’s calmness as a resource they can lean into.”
Clearly communicate what you need from your Type B partner.
For example, if it’s not their first inclination to help you with things like planning and goals for the household or relationship, tell them exactly what gestures and actions you need from them. If you are expecting them to help you plan a trip but never tell them that that’s what you want from them—especially if they’re not the “planning” type—how are they supposed to know?
At the same time, try not to project your ambitions and needs onto your Type B partner. Just because they might tend to procrastinate or approach things with less of a go-getter attitude does not mean that they won’t achieve their goals or get things done that they need to do. Remember that they just have a different way of doing things.
If You’re Type B
If you’re Type B, accept that your Type A partner might not be as laid-back or able to compromise as you are. You two have different skills and different approaches to both problems and achievements, and acknowledging that can help you understand your partner better and not expect things from them of which they are not capable.
If your partner tells you that they need something from you—some kind of action or effort—listen and do your best to accommodate them, even if it’s not something you would naturally do.
This doesn’t mean ignoring your own needs or doing something that’s not good for you; instead, it means you might have to make an effort to do something for your partner that’s a little out of your comfort zone, like helping them plan your vacation or being proactive about things like chores.
Make an effort to understand your Type A partner’s motivations and goals.
Talking about what they are working towards can help you as a Type B realize what they are trying so hard to accomplish. This can help you accept and even support your partner as they reach for those achievements—even if they are achievements you wouldn’t normally care about.
“Type B partners can view their partner’s driven personality as an invitation to challenge themselves to grow,” explains Renteria. So instead of seeing your Type A partner’s intense motivation as something intimidating or unreasonable, try looking at it as a possibility to improve your own life as well.
Final Thoughts
Even though people with Type A personalities and Type B personalities are very different in their habits and approaches to things like work and interpersonal relationships, that doesn’t mean that they are incompatible.
Even though a Type A/Type B relationship can present certain problems—just like any romantic relationship—there are actually many advantages to dating someone with a different personality type than you.